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Hayden
Blogger
Yammer's shortest blogger. Football and Fantasy Content. Thinks shortness is a competition. Doesn't know how to dress himself properly.
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Hayden
Oct 25, 20213 min read
Manchester United ANNIHILATED by Liverpool
Well that was fun. Seriously fun. As in, quite literally skipping around the house at 5am fun. Manchester United nil, Liverpool FIVE....
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Hayden
Sep 2, 20211 min read
Props to Willian
Brazilian winger Willian has just walked away from Arsenal, mutually terminating his contract with the club. And I think he should be...
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Hayden
Aug 9, 20212 min read
Well Done to La Liga
After the press conferences of the last couple of days, by Barcelona president Joan Laporta and by the man himself, there is no doubt...
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Hayden
Jul 14, 20212 min read
Racist Abuse of Rashford & Co. by England “Fans” Disgraceful, But Not Surprising
After missing their penalties in England’s shootout defeat to Italy in the Euro 2020 final Marcus Rashford, Jadon Sancho and Bukayo Saka...
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Hayden
Jul 12, 20213 min read
Turns Out I Was Right About England After All
With Italy’s victory on penalties (3-2 after a 1-1 draw) over England this morning, Euro 2020 drew to a close. The Italians are deserving...
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Hayden
Jul 9, 20212 min read
I Don’t Usually Go For Omens, But…
Commentators trot out a lot of nonsense. Like, a lot. A staggering, astounding, mind-blowing amount of nonsense. The England’s 2-1...
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Hayden
Jul 1, 20212 min read
Soooooo… England. They Look Threatening
With last night’s two games they Euros Round of 16 wrapped up, with England beating Germany and Ukraine edging Sweden to advance to the...
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Hayden
Jun 23, 20211 min read
Contrary to Recent Reports, There Will Be No Snow Next Week
Weather forecasters have today declared the possibility of snow in Christchurch next week: “Starting Monday morning, up to 10 centimetres...
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Hayden
Jun 21, 20212 min read
Now This is Cool: Football's Unofficial World Championship
I’ve just stumbled across a real gem of the footballing world: The Unofficial Football World Championship. It’s brilliant, allow me to...
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Hayden
Jun 18, 20213 min read
What the Hell is Happening at Tottenham?
Eighteen months ago they sacked Mauricio Pochettino, the club’s best manager in decades, hired the anti-football Jose Mourinho in a move...
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Hayden
Jun 14, 20212 min read
Failure Awaits England at the Euros
Sigh. It’s happening again. Once again a major tournament has rolled around, and once again England fans are optimistic that “it’s coming...
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Hayden
May 24, 20212 min read
Well, I Was Wrong … And I’m Bloody Ecstatic About It
A couple of weeks ago I posted this, conceding defeat to Leicester City in the race for the top four. There was, I reasoned, now way that...
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Hayden
May 17, 20212 min read
The Superior Version of Return of the Jedi
I give you fair warning: there are SPOILERS AHEAD. MASSIVE ONES. George Lucas likes to make changes, there can be no argument about that....
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Hayden
May 12, 20211 min read
Congratulations to Man City and Leicester
Today’s 2-1 win for Leicester over Manchester United confirmed two things: Manchester City are champions once again, and Leicester will...
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Hayden
May 5, 20212 min read
Jose Mourinho is Back.
Well bugger me sideways. Jose Mourinho is back in a job. Seriously, straight back in a job. It’s amazing. Just two weeks ago he was...
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Hayden
May 3, 20211 min read
I Support the Anti-Glazer Protests – But They Were a Pain in the Ass
This morning Manchester United vs Liverpool was postponed due to fan protests against the Glazer family – Manchester United’s owners –...
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Hayden
Apr 29, 20212 min read
Why I’m Cheering for PSG in the Champions League Semis
Real Madrid. Chelsea. Manchester City. Paris Saint-Germain. These are the four teams that remain standing in the UEFA Champions League....
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Hayden
Apr 21, 20213 min read
Why the European Super League Plans Were So Appalling, and so Hated
It occurs to me that due to how satisfyingly short-lived (48 hours) the proposed European Super League was, I never actually explained...
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Hayden
Apr 21, 20211 min read
Message Received: There Will Be No Super League
The proposed European Super League collapsed like a house of cards early this morning. It was, ironically, Chelsea and Manchester City...
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Hayden
Apr 19, 20213 min read
The European Super League: Twelve Greedy Clubs and the Need to Teach Them A Lesson
I already knew that the big clubs were greedy, but even so; holy hell the big clubs are amazingly greedy. Today, on the eve of UEFA...
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Hayden
Apr 18, 20212 min read
Newcastle are a Really Weird Team
Daylight Savings has been a real pain in the ass. I don’t like it being dark by 6pm and I don’t care if it’s light in the morning – I’m...
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Hayden
Apr 12, 20212 min read
Ole Gunner Solskjaer is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT Right about Son’s Cheating
Today’s Premier League action saw Newcastle move six points clear of the drop zone and West Ham – against all expectations at the start...
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Hayden
Apr 10, 20212 min read
Rematch Time for Man United, Liverpool
This weekend’s Premier League fixtures are the return games of matchweek four. Sorry, that isn’t actually very helpful. I need to provide...
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Hayden
Apr 9, 20211 min read
I'm Back, and Nothing Has Changed
Well, I’m back from holiday, and clearly nothing has changed in my absence. Really, almost literally nothing. I’ve been gone for almost...
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Hayden
Mar 27, 20211 min read
I’m Going on Break
Well, yesterday’s post was my last (except, obviously, this one) for a couple of weeks. I’ve got essays to write, and then I’m going away...
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Hayden
Mar 26, 20213 min read
Bill Shankly Was Right About Referees. Part Two: VAR Offside
A couple of weeks ago I published a piece about Bill Shankly’s views on referees, and how they still hold true to this day even after all...
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Hayden
Mar 24, 20211 min read
The Lovren Report
Dejan Lovren just loves to make a show of himself. I mean, I though we’d seen the worst of it when he proclaimed himself to be “one of...
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Hayden
Mar 20, 20212 min read
Chaos Walking: A Good, Entertaining Film
Last weekend I did something I hadn’t in … years? I went to the movies. The film I saw was Chaos Walking, the onscreen adaption of the...
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Hayden
Mar 18, 20212 min read
Laziness, Rani. That’s Why.
Rani posted this yesterday. It’s a pretty good summary of my final America’s Cup piece actually, and you should read it to fully get what...
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Hayden
Mar 17, 20211 min read
It’s Over. It’s Finally Over
It’s gone. It’s done. The America’s Cup is finally complete. It has taken (at least four) months, but it’s finally done. In the aftermath...
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Hayden
Mar 16, 20212 min read
Rani, Kindly Go and F*ck Yourself
You just can't please some people. They delegate you a job (that you never asked for and don’t want), you give them exactly what they...
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Hayden
Mar 15, 20212 min read
A Day of Shenanigans in the America’s Cup
Yesterday there were no races in the America’s Cup because there wasn’t enough wind (ought to have had the oars in my opinion)...
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Hayden
Mar 14, 20212 min read
Sacking Chris Wilder is an Absolute Disgrace
I think football’s sacking culture has reached a new low. I mean, I wasn’t happy with the sackings of Slaven Bilic or Frank Lampard...
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Hayden
Mar 14, 20212 min read
What Can I Say? I’m on a Roll
Apparently the General is surprised by the fact that I’ve been doing my job properly and “reporting” on something that I was told to....
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Hayden
Mar 12, 20212 min read
The America’s Cup: Day Two Roundup
They did some more racing today apparently. After a false start due to a spectator (read: rich asshole) floating absentmindedly onto the...
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Hayden
Mar 12, 20212 min read
Yammer House’s America’s Cup Coverage Begins
As I was walking through university today, I ran into The General. Things, I thought, could not get any worse. He proved me wrong...
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Hayden
Mar 10, 20212 min read
Bill Shankly Was Right About Referees. Part One: Handball
Legendary Liverpool manager Bill Shankly once said that “the trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the...
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Hayden
Mar 6, 20213 min read
Now I'm Panicking
In mid-January I wrote this piece about Liverpool’s recent struggles, calling for calm. Six weeks later though my confidence in Liverpool...
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Hayden
Mar 4, 20212 min read
Reylo Haters - A People in Denial
Definition: The term ‘Reylo’ refers to the romantic relationship between Rey and Kylo Ren in the Star Wars sequel trilogy. I feel like...
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Hayden
Feb 27, 20211 min read
Sportspeople These Days...
I just walked into the lounge as my Dad was watching the news, and it happened to be the sports section. In addition to seeing that the...
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Hayden
Feb 24, 20212 min read
The Week That Changed the Relegation Battle
What a week Fulham have just had. Having previously been cursed by a seemingly interminable run of draws, the Cottagers have pulls two...
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Hayden
Feb 21, 20211 min read
Liverpool Are Cursed
Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God. This is just unbelievable. Jordan sodding Henderson has just trudged off the...
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Hayden
Feb 12, 20212 min read
Neymar is Ready for Carnival
It’s that time of year again. The Champions League knockouts have come around, and the world’s best players are gearing up to compete in...
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Hayden
Feb 9, 20212 min read
IT’S OVER!!!
And so it is confirmed: the Premier League title race is over. Finished. Done and dusted. The fat lady has sung, and the trophy will be...
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Hayden
Feb 6, 20211 min read
Jose Should Have Shut Up
"I don't think it's very difficult to coach at Chelsea," said Tottenham manager Jose Mourinho before his side’s game against Chelsea on...
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Hayden
Feb 5, 20212 min read
The General is Ignorant, But Correct
Earlier today the General sent me this: It is, he claims, proof that Liverpool are terrible. It is a nonsense argument, made by one who...
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Hayden
Jan 26, 20212 min read
Replacing Frank Lampard – Two Poor Decisions in One
Patience is a quality that is somewhat lacking in modern football – that is to say, it is almost non-existent. A bad couple of weeks and...
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Hayden
Jan 23, 20212 min read
Screw the Yachting
I, for one, do not give two shits about the America’s Cup. It’s a boring-ass rich man’s sport being paid for by the taxpayer for some...
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Hayden
Jan 20, 20212 min read
People Need to Stop Panicking, and Stop Blaming Mohamed Salah
I would be lying if I said that Liverpool had been playing well recently, they haven’t. They have been abysmal. Appalling. Atrocious....
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Hayden
Jan 19, 20212 min read
My First (and probably last) Movie Review
First, a piece of public service. Only scroll this page down as far as necessary to read each bit of it. There's a GIF near the bottom...
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